The One That Hides Itself

Every time.

Not once. Not occasionally. Every single time I walk into a room and do what I do, I show up fully and do my job completely. The room lights up. The conversation moves. People leave feeling seen and energized and connected. And I walk away knowing that every single one of them met me. Just not all of me.

I like that part of me. I genuinely do. Who wouldn't. She is fun and she is warm and she gets things done and she makes people feel good. I am not trying to get rid of her. I just want you to know she is not the whole story.

Here is the truth nobody says out loud about this one. The performance is not fake. That is what makes it so hard to name. My warmth is real. My humor is real. My capability, my presence, my genuine care for the people in the room, all of it is truly there. It is just not the whole of me. It is one part of a much larger person. And the people who only ever get the performance think they know me completely when they have actually only met one room in a very large house.

I am just as much the quiet one. The introverted one. The well read one who does not need to be in the room at all some days. Who could happily disappear into my own thoughts for three days and come out rested. That is just as much me. Just as true. And that part of me almost never gets introduced. Not because it is less than. Because I do not always need the spotlight. And sometimes I actually prefer it.

The performance is so complete and so compelling that it answers every question before anyone thinks to ask a different one. For me it looks like lighting up a room. For someone else it looks like having all the answers. Or never causing problems. Or being so reliable that nobody ever thinks to ask how she is doing. Different performances. Same result.

The question worth sitting with is not whether you have it. It is whether you can catch yourself before you reach for it. And ask whether it is still your best choice or just your oldest one.

Find out where you are in your returning right now at thereturningproject.com/journey. The workbook is at thereturningproject.com/let-it-stand.

The Returning Project is a space where women reclaim who they truly are, beyond who they were told to be. New posts every Sunday.

Inward. Onward. Go.